Dirty little secret

The next few weeks were intense, we were passionately in love but I was her dirty little secret. Her ex wasn’t supposed to know about us, nor her exes family. Megan hadn’t yet moved out of the shed they had shared together. It was frustrating and when I was left alone to my own thoughts I found it hard to battle my insecurities. I had to convince myself that I wasn’t in it alone. Megan was taking a massive chance on us. I had to have faith in her and trust that she truly meant it when she told me she loved me.

There were times when it Megan was insecure too. She worried that our flame that was burning so bright could never be sustained, that I would lose interest in her now that we’d shared that night. Her own insecurities that I did my best to subdue, I really don’t think she ever realised just how much I was in it from that moment on.

I got around to telling Megan what I had planned for her Birthday, I’d booked tickets to see a show in London for the next time she came to visit. One of the first things I had learned about Megan was that Matilda was her favourite film, that she’d always wanted to see it in the theatre and that she loved being a tourist in London. I wanted to make all her dreams come true. I wrote about it afterwards.

Thursday 26th July 2012

I had been excited all day at work knowing that I’d be seeing Megan that evening, I found it so hard to concentrate on anything I was supposed to be doing. In the four days without her it was incredible how much I missed her. When I got to the station I was so happy that I was early and Megan wouldn’t have to wait there on her own for me.

Megan text to say she were there I was scanning the crowds of people for her, I certainly still got that nervous excitement when I was waiting to see her, my heart was racing and I felt like I had a million butterflies in my tummy. When I finally saw Megan walking towards me I knew I must have been grinning from ear to ear. She looked amazing in black and red and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. When I finally got to wrap my arms around her I felt whole again.

The rest of the evening is a blissful blur, I wanted time to slow down so that I could savour every moment with Megan, time always seems to race by when I’m with her and we were getting caught up in the moment. Megan could be pretty naughty sometimes, she was already opening my eyes to a much sexier side of myself than I ever thought I had. That was going to be fun to explore.

Friday 27th July 2012

Funny turn, I suppose I should take full responsibility for this! There’s no way I should have let Megan over exert herself like she did the night before and during the morning. I had missed her more than she could have imagined, it was more than any desire it was a physical need to make love all night long and fall asleep exhausted in each others arms.

I felt so content knowing that as I fell asleep that Megan would be the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes to the new day. Friday we had cake for breakfast at a cafe, had fun in the afternoon when we realised we were getting carried away on the sofa, walked to Ealing Broadway for dinner, saw London by night, took a spin on the London eye, hopped on the underground to tower hill to see tower bridge, skipping along the golden jubilee bridges, taking photos and enjoying London without quite so many tourists present.

Every time we’re out together and Megan would reach out to touch me, hold my hand, kiss me or hug me I felt warm inside, these simple things from her truly make me feel wanted in a way that I had never experienced before. Every moment with her was perfect that weekend.

I certainly got to see her stubborn side too, this saws the day when Megan wouldn’t let anything stop her from going sightseeing, I knew she wasn’t feeling her best. Yet seeing Megan in London looking at all the sights, walking with her, taking photos in all the different places are now memories that I’ll have forever, I love seeing London by night and it was amazing being able to share that with her.

Needless to say that when we got back to mine that night there was definitely going to be a round two from the night before, we literally just couldn’t get enough of each other.

Saturday 28th July 2012

Matilda, The Royal Trafalgar, Soho, Leicester Square, sexy lingerie and Megan!

Saturday was without a doubt one of the most perfect days I have ever had, waking up with Megan and playfully being told off in that sexy way off hers for pestering her when I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. I loved the look in her eyes when she was trying to tell me off, it made me want her more! Though in reality she just wanted to make sure she had enough energy to get through the day, so I tried to behave myself.

We checked into the hotel early I remember I wasn’t expecting to be able to check in right away, seeing our room for the night and that massive bed, all I can remember is that once we had both unpacked and tested out that bed together it was very hard not to just lock ourselves in the hotel room for the whole day and night.

Walking through London to the theatre in the sunshine was really cool, finding our way through the side streets to the theatre, grabbing a quick bite to eat before the show. I loved seeing the look on Megan’s face as we got to the theatre and seeing her take pictures of the posters outside, she was so excited and had the biggest grin on her face. Going to dinner after the show was fun, eating right there on Leicester Square, as dinner went on it was unbelievable the chemistry that we had, the cute and sexy flirting, seeing how much we wanted each other and that we just couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel room.

After a few hours back at the hotel room we were ready to venture out again, though I’m sure we both wouldn’t have minded a night in, probably best not to waste the best bits of London when it’s on your doorstep.

Again I was lost in my dopey adoring trance as I watched Megan get ready for a night out, seeing her try on different outfits. Megan seemed to like my outfit, especially when the lipstick (finishing touches) was applied. I had never really made such an effort for anyone before and no one before ever made me feel wanted the way that Megan did, I wanted to be sexy for her and do sexy things with her that I never would have dreamed of before.

I took Megan to one of the few places in Soho that I could actually find, the Candybar. I couldn’t believe that she’d never heard of it before, it was notorious for being London’s only lesbian only venue. Megan certainly turned heads when she walked into a place, the odd thing is that she didn’t even seem to notice. It was so foreign to me to be with someone that wanted me the way she did, in that moment I knew I didn’t have to worry or be insecure, the way that she only had eyes for me while in a place like that, that she wasn’t too shy to kiss me when she wanted to and being happy for everyone to see that we’re together… That’s everything I had ever needed or wanted and Megan gave that to me without me even having to ask for it or having told her how much being open and expressive like that meant to me. It’s one of the many reasons why I knew that I loved her so completely.

It was so hot in that bar that when we decided to leave it was nice to walk around for a bit to cool off. Although by the time we got back to the hotel we were both so exhausted that I thought despite the best intentions we might both end up in bed falling asleep after the long day.

But I had bought some lingerie with me and I know how much Megan wanted to see it on. I remember I took my time getting ready, she was all tucked up under the duvet when I emerged from the bathroom. Yet somehow she went from sleepy to wide awake in about two seconds. Especially after I’d put the heels on again. I can’t believe how cheeky she was by asking me to walk around the room for her for a while. It was a matter of seconds before we’d be falling into bed again.

Sunday 29th July 2012

The next morning we made the most of having a large hotel room to ourselves before checking out and revisiting the sights, we took even more photos and did some souvenir shopping, it started to rain so we hopped into the national portrait gallery before heading back out to Ealing. We spent the afternoon chilling out at mine singing along with the iPad, joking with each other about wedding plans we had each dreamed up. For some reason we took the most ridiculous route to Paddington station and Megan ended up missing her train. I made a judgement call and decided to drive Megan all the way back to Somerset, there was a lot of singing and chatting in the car, when we were nearly home we got pulled over by the cops and I got a notice for having a light-bulb out on my car, that was rather inconvenient, though I was happy that we managed to get an extra bonus night that we hadn’t planned on.

Everything had started out so well. Until I was back in London, alone. Remembering that I was still your Dirty Little Secret.


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