After Majorca another holiday was required. In previous years Lara and I had gone on two holidays a year, one a budget sun seeker holiday within Europe, the other closer to home at a holiday park on the coast. This time however our holiday for two would be another trip within Europe. We’d booked through our local travel agent and were heading to Ibiza.
We went in August, which could have been mayhem with the kids off school. However we picked a really quiet resort, the hotel was for adults only and half board so we didn’t have to worry about taking much money with us. The holiday itself was a bit of a throw back to our time spent in Corfu when it had been just the two of us. I took something to read with me and so did Lara, we planned to top up our suntans and generally chill out and unwind.
There are some things I remember about the holiday and some things that I simply can’t recall. I’d have to say the resort was too quiet and very far removed from the party all night areas of Ibiza, which is a shame really as that’s still on my to do list. So things I remember are a couple of lazy days on the beach, a boat trip to a nearby town that boasted great markets and not really a whole lot else.
It was a very different experience to the budget holidays we’d taken before. We arrived in the middle of the night by coach transfer yet still on arrival we were greeted with drinks in reception, and someone took our bags on up to our room. Typically the kind of service that would expect a tip, well unfortunately they did’t get one. We didn’t get a room with a view but that didn’t matter, the hotel was situated on a cliff top and from the terrace had great views out to sea and back towards the resort and the beach.
I remember a funny morning on the beach. Even though I don’t like sand I will always persevere with it when in a sunny location and don my flip-flops and waddle out onto the beach and set down my towel and try not to get too annoyed by the light breeze that blows sand absolutely everywhere. So Lara and I were relaxing on a spot we’d claimed and just soaking up the sun, occasionally reading or chatting and of course, my favourite past-time of people watching.
There were a group of attractive young Spanish women a few meters in front of us, I wouldn’t have noticed this necessarily except that they caught our eye for one particular reason. There were three of them that we playing about in the sea and just as I was looking up from my book I happened to notice them emerge from the water. No joking, it was like something out of a Charlies Angels movie, with only one obvious difference, these girls were all topless. I guess they don’t like tan lines… I wanted to laugh my head off at the movie-like scene playing out in front of us, Lara found it equally amusing. I thought Heidi would have found it funny too and I attempted to capture the moment (probably not very ethically!) to share with her when we got back.
There wasn’t much to do in the place we were staying, there weren’t any bars open late and the hotel entertainment was drab at best. There was a much livelier hotel across the cove on the opposite cliff top. We could often hear the music they were pumping out and thought that it might have been a bit nicer to be somewhere like that with a bit more going on. We were easily the youngest guests at the hotel we were staying in. We wanted a change of pace and a chance to relax, however this was bordering on boring at times.
We didn’t make the most of the time alone together, not like we had done on previous holidays when it had been just the two of us. In fact there wasn’t much romance left between us. The days had gone of those moments where we attempted to one-up each other with I love you mores and gifts ‘just because’ and I guess I was a little sad about that from time to time.
Throughout the holiday I remember feeling that we were more like friends than lovers these days, and although it was great to be in a relationship with someone you could call your best friend I’m human and I have needs. I missed the romance, affection and passion we used to have. I guess when it’s been there and then it’s not you look for a reason why, and to me there was a very clear reason. Things hadn’t been the same since Rose and try as I may to get it all out of my head and move on, sometimes it would still niggle away at me.
We went through the motions on our holiday, got wonderfully suntanned and relaxed more than you might think is humanly possible. We took the boat trip towards the end of the week and explored some market in a town a short way up the coast. I was a little worried about Lara getting sea sick but this time out at sea we didn’t have any problems and the weather stayed great the whole time we were there. The market wasn’t that impressive, not enough to tempt either of us to spend any money, so instead it turned into a trip away from the resort for a change of scenery and having lunch out then heading back for the evening.
I remember buying a new towel while I was out there, a nice big beach one since we spent more time on the beach than anywhere else the whole time we were there. I also remember buying some bright orange/yellow fabric with gecko designs all over it, which I bought mostly because if you sat still long enough while on the sea wall all these tiny gecko’s would come out to play and crawl about around your feet, the second you moved an inch they’d all disappear. It was an amusing way to pass the time, which says a lot about how exciting this little village was. My souvenir was a little reminder of this holiday activity, there wasn’t much else to inspire a souvenir.
I don’t remember going swimming on this holiday at all. I’m sure the hotel had a pool but I can’t remember using it. I think this was down to my own insecurities again. Over the few years that Lara and I had been together I had gained a lot of weight, I had gone from being a size 16 when we first started dating to being somewhere between a size 22/24 and I didn’t have any idea how I could do anything about it because of my really unhealthy eating habits/phobias.
Actually my weight brought me down a lot of the time and wasn’t helped by the lack of affection in mine and Lara’s relationship, I often felt like she was too polite to say that she simply wasn’t attracted to me anymore because I’d let myself go. However if I ever voiced that idea she told me I was ridiculous and that she’d love me and want me regardless of how much weight I gained. Although to me if she truly felt that way we wouldn’t have had the problems we seemed to have, so this is a topic I revisited quite regularly.
It seemed to me that the time away really highlighted how much our relationship had changed. Somethings were great, the comfort of our daily routine, enjoying time together whether in silence or out having fun, but for me there were some fundamentals missing. We’d already decided that we cared too much to walk away from what we had so I hoped that over time we’d get back on track, I didn’t think I’d ever stop working on that. It wasn’t long after this holiday that I really noticed the pattern. More on that to come.
When we got back to Somerset it was a relief to be home in some ways, to be among friends and family again. The holiday was totally uneventful, which gave the false impression that everything between us was great. We didn’t argue the whole time we were there, when we came home with told everyone what a great time we’d had. It’s only if you scratched the surface you’d realise just how much had changed.