Out of Sequence Notification

If you’ve been with me from the start you will have heeded my many admissions about my poor memory. I ended my last post with the recollection of deciding to quit University and Katy and I deciding to give things another go. I also set the scene for my last month in Portsmouth that was just one long farewell party. I missed out one crucial element which was bringing in the year 2005.

Yes, Katy and I were back together, for some reason we were keeping that to ourselves, many of our friends had gotten fed up of our games and being caught in the middle, so they weren’t exactly supportive anymore, they just left us to it. Yet we all were still friends and when it came to New Year’s Eve we were all invited to Michael’s house party.

Michael liked to take polaroid pictures, he had at least one of all of his friends and then they earned a place on his wardrobe door, they were quite fun to look at. The magic of an instant print is lost these days with ‘No, I don’t like that one, delete it and take another’ I was in his room pouring over the many photos and looking for my own which had been taken the year before to see if I’d changed much. Laughing at other pictures Michael had taken and just generally enjoying hanging out with good people, the night started so well.

Back in these days when we were all hanging on to our teenage years we had a vast network of friends, none more so than Michael. There were people at this party that I had never met before. I remember a group of people hanging out in the garage smoking weed all night, the gamers in the living room, the socialisers in the kitchen (myself included) and everyone just generally mingling.

Katy, Michael and I were in his kitchen chatting away with the banter in full swing when a young friend of his was introduced to us. Her name was Charlie, she was an attractive girl with long dark hair and smokey eyes and she had a wicked sense of humour, well, she could keep up with our banter. It wasn’t long before Katy was interrogating the poor girl, this wasn’t out of character for Katy back then. She found it funny to bombard people with personal questions usually regarding sexual orientation, how often you like to pleasure yourself, encourage you to confess to awkward sex stories etc.

Charlie was a good sport, she playfully answered all of Katy’s questions and would challenge her back when she was getting tired of them, eventually Katy discovered that Charlie claimed to be bisexual or bi-curious, I can’t remember which. Then in a move so dumb it should have ruined everything, Katy asks her ‘Who would you rather sleep with, Elena or me?’ In my mind I’m screaming ‘ARE YOU FOR REAL!?’ but instead I attempted to salvage the situation and stepped in saying that it wasn’t fair for Katy to put Charlie on the spot like that and since I didn’t care what the answer was she might as well say Katy and spare us all the awkward situation.

As it turned out Charlie didn’t mind answering this question and she answered Elena… oopsy that seemed to backfire didn’t it. Our relationship shifted in this moment, whenever we would meet someone knew who didn’t seem to know that Katy and I were together she would always ask this question. To this day I can’t fathom why, it was almost like she was constantly competing with me. At the time I put it down to Katy being drunk and overstepping the mark.

We got on with the evening which ended with some spectacular fireworks, well the fireworks were OK. The manner in which we set them off was inspired. Michaels house has a small green in front of it, and a road to the side. We set some rockets off from the green and when that got boring some of the more rowdy drunks got a bit more inventive. There was one that got wedged into a road sign and took off quite well. The next one attempted in the same manner didn’t fly, breaking all safety rules someone went back to the lit firework and decided to give it a helping hand by throwing it into the air. The firework shot across the green horizontally about a foot from the ground towards the road and exploded just as a car drove over it. Needless to say we all ran for cover and hid out the rest of the night in Michaels house.

This was a rare sober night for me, I hadn’t had a drop to drink, I don’t smoke weed and I think I’d only had a little to eat. Yet the next morning I woke up in Michael’s parents room with Katy and I felt very poorly. When I’m not well I want my own bed and to be looked after by my mum. So I got up to leave, Katy could see that I wasn’t quite right and did an amazing job of getting me out of the house before I managed to be sick, she took me home so that I could recover. I have no idea what made me so ill that day but it was such a nice way to bring in the New Year, actually with that being said I have to admit it was a memorable party.

So why is this such a crucial tale… to me, this felt like a turning point in our relationship. A wiser person would have been able to tell it wasn’t worth it from this night alone. Our friends didn’t think we were good for each other, there was a competitive edge being introduced into our relationship (not just our break ups), attention seeking behaviour and when you add that to the trust problems that Katy already had and the anger that would flare up between us you pretty much had a recipe for disaster. Yet for some reason I was committed to giving things another go, the things we do for poor, misguided, love.


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