Where did that come from?

Yesterday when I settled down for the evening to write my last entry all my memories were rather vague and I couldn’t quite put them in a sequence of events. However as I got to the end of my last post a few more memories came flooding back to me. Now the sequence of events is still foggy, but it’s added fuel to the fire.

I remember when it came to Valentine’s day that I was uncharacteristically home for the weekend. I had plans with a friend I had met at Uni, we were going to have a movie night and stay in at hers. We managed to meet one night in 227 through mutual friends, where I had lived in the South West in a town relatively near Bath and Bristol and decided to go to University in Portsmouth, Sarah had done the reverse and had lived in Portsmouth and decided to go to University in Bristol.

There was nothing in it, it was just Valentine’s day, we were both actually quite hung up on our exes and just wanted a way to say ‘screw you’ to the both of them. Sarah cooked dinner and we watched some Angelina Jolie film. I stayed the night, and we had slept in the same bed, but if I remember rightly we didn’t even kiss.

The night before I had seen Katy while out with our friends, I think she was happy to see me back in Somerset for the weekend. It showed that she thought I didn’t have anyone in Portsmouth important enough to me to warrant spending Valentine’s day with. Her apparent joy as this fact was clear, so I had to wipe the smile off her face. I made my sleepover with a friend seem like something a bit more serious and that seemed to do the job.

Thinking back I’m not sure I ever set the record straight, Katy would always think that during this Valentine’s day that I had spent it with someone I was seeing, rather than just with a friend for the hell of it. The games were continuing, and Katy was still playing every bit as much as me. I have no idea why neither of us just walked away and left each other alone, it was so unhealthy.

So what was Katy’s next move? Well, she casually attempted to put me in the friend zone. Of course if we were moving on and we were just friends now that meant that she should be able to tell me every detail about her life, the women in particular. The worst part, I had absolutely no right to be mad about it. Hadn’t I brought this all on myself when I instigated the break up and by continually seeking out her company?

Other memories are coming back to me as I write even now, every time my initial reaction is ‘Where did that come from?’ then when I settle into the recollection I find it hard to believe I had ever forgotten in the first place. Shortly after Valentine’s Katy passed her driving test (about time, it took her 5 attempts, on both the theory and the practical!) and an even shorter time after passing her test she happened to crash her car.

I was back in Portsmouth at this time, Katy had gone out to a club in the next town over with our friend Michael. While leaving the club (she swears, sober) she drove into the back of a shiny BMW that happened to be owned by the manager of the club. No one was hurt and there wasn’t much damage. Michael had text me in the dead of the night (for once I wasn’t out partying) to let me know what had happened.

My reaction was pretty understated, I got the idea from the text that the accident was nothing to be concerned about, a minor prang. So I wasn’t exactly alight with concern and desperately trying to find out if everyone was OK and aching to be back where my friends were in their time of need. However, this seems to be the reaction that Katy felt the situation deserved and she was outraged that I didn’t seem to care. Considering that we were, technically speaking, no longer romantically involved I was astounded that she expected any reaction or the need to call me at all. How could we still be arguing when we weren’t even together anymore and still miles apart?

We didn’t exactly speak much for a while after that, but we made up after a few weeks. We had to really, while we were still together we had bought concert tickets to go and see Pink with our friends, neither of us wanted to forego going so we had to at least tolerate each other to get through it and enjoy the experience. Until then, I would go back to my old ways while at Uni, spending more time with Debbie and the hockey and rugby girls, and occasionally meeting up with Jennie and Louise, but always continuing to hang out with my favourite gay guys Chris, Peter and Marcus. I would still speak with Chloe once in a while online, though she still didn’t seem to ever plan on coming on a night out with the LGBT society, I’d keep working on that.


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